Good News Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

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How's my cat, Doc?

Vet: I have good news and bad news..

What's the good news?

Doctor: You should make it til Shark Week

Why is it good news that Aroldis Chapman moved to the Yankees?

Because pitchers don't hit in the American League!

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Pitcher Jokes More Pitcher Jokes

Who's bad at baseball but fun at parties?

A pitcher filled with margaritas!

Why is it good news that Aroldis Chapman moved to the Yankees?

Because pitchers don't hit in the American League!

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What did Hamlet say when he heard dubstep for the first time?

Aye, there's the wub"

Why don't you hear any knock knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings.

Paul Jokes More Paul Jokes

Why did the sweet scented man called Paul change his name to Saul?

He liked the P, but preferred the essence the change.

What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?

Have a good one, son."

Bad News Jokes More Bad News Jokes

What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news?

Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the man put a clock under his desk?

He wanted to work overtime.

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

Yankee Jokes More Yankee Jokes

What's the definition of a Yankee?

A. Same thing as a "quickie" only you do it yourself.

What is a Yankee ?

What is a Yankee Well, its like a Quicky but your by yourself.

Michael Jokes More Michael Jokes

What did Michael get for his birthday?

Gloves ... Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet Knock, knock Who is it Not Michael

How do you spell ichael?

The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

How to cats greet each other at Christmas ?

A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year" !

How many cats?

One.