Michael Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

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What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house?

Nothing, Michael liked boys.

What did Michael get for his birthday?

Gloves ... Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet Knock, knock Who is it Not Michael

How do you spell ichael?

The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

What do you call a fox that can't stop shaking?

Michael

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Birthday Jokes More Birthday Jokes

Who's there ! Alligator ! Alligator who ?

Alligator for her birthday was a card !

What did you get for your birthday?

Another year!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman with one short leg?

ilene.

What do women and turds have in common?

The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What language does a boxer who punches jokes speak?

Punjabi-ng.

Why should you be scared of a white man in prison?

Because you know he is actually guilty. Credit to for the joke!

House Jokes More House Jokes

How do Mexicans warm their houses in the winter months?

Central Fajiting.

How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House?

All right, all right, all right..

Little Kid Jokes More Little Kid Jokes

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES! Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter.

What did the little kid do with the dead battery?

He buried it.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What is the best part about duct tape?

It can turn "no, no, no!" Into "mmm, mmm, mmm"

What did Adam say when he broke up with Eve?

I'm turning over a new leaf.

Q Jokes More Q Jokes

What do a feminist and a policeman have in common?

Q: What do a feminist and a policeman have in common A: They're both trigger-happy.

How do you get from Iran to Iraq without moving?

You switch the 'n' with 'q'.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How do you like your eggs?

Fried, scrambled, or fertilized?

Why doesn't anybody like feminist picnics?

Because they never have any sandwiches.