Company Jokes

Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

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What do you call a company run entirely by ghosts?

An incorporation.

What company makes the best fireworks?

Spacex

Which company saw the end of disco coming from a mile away?

Discover.

Why did the company hire the glutton?

Because he was a ate professional!

How do u know if a company that just hired you conducts drug tests?

What is the likelihood it will be a hairtest

What company spent over $6.2 billion in buying Viagra?

Microsoft

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call a nun that works for your company?

Nun of your business.

How many people work at your company?

About half of them.

Why were all the computers in the company frozen?

Because they let IT go

Why did you call off yesterday?

Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.

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What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?

DLC.

What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint?

Fry-by-night!

What attracted you to our company?

Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work

How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?

Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.

What do you call a company that makes Mexicans?

A MexiCo.

What did Bill Gate's wife say to him on their wedding night?

No wonder you called the company Microsoft

Why did the chicken love Campbell's Soup?

Because his family had stock in the company.

What company makes Nerds?

Your mom.

Why do Chinese workers work so hard?

Because their companies are always short-staffed.

How do you know you're always about to have fun in the company of an octopus?

Because it's always ten-to-cool time...

Why did the lonely man work on his days off?

X-post /r/dadjokes) He loved the company.

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

What could you bring to this company?

Me: Well I guess I could bring my stereo, but I get to choose what we listen to.

What type of tree hates company?

Sycamore trees!

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Coal Mining Company Jokes More Coal Mining Company Jokes

What's the difference between a coal mining company and catholic priests?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts.

Whats the difference between a coal mining company and the Catholic Church?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts not the other way around.......

Priest Jokes More Priest Jokes

How do you know that you're too old?

When the priest doesn't look at you anymore.

How is a Silver Medal and a Priest the same?

They both came in a little behind.

Toy Jokes More Toy Jokes

Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV?

His parents weren't 18 or older.

What can we do to make it even scarier?

Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What type of punch hurts kids the most?

A sandy hook

Which kid is yours?

Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What did Mr. Burns bring to the pot luck?

Eggsalad

What do a Bernie Sanders supporter, a Cross-Fitter, and a person with Herpes have in common?

They all "Feel The Burn!"

Flood Jokes More Flood Jokes

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?

Bring on their subs!

What did the person say when a flood struck his house?

Damn it!

House Jokes More House Jokes

What's the best part of two lesbians marrying?

Two cooks in the house.

Why did the man open a rooftop bar?

He wanted to have drinks on the house.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between an elephant and a flea?

An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants !

What is the difference between an apple and an orange?

None, the two are not a snake