Nfl Jokes

What do you get when you mix an insurance company with an NFL quarterback?

An Aflacco

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What did the NFL Commissioner say when Adele turned down the Superbowl Halftime Show?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

Why would Keemstar make a good NFL cornerback?

He's really good at swatting.

What do Monica Lewinsky and NFL players both have in common?

It's their knees that go first.

What did Peyton Manning said to his younger brother about the new NFL rule?

ELI5 (explain me like I am five)

What's the difference between a wide receiver and Ray Rice's wife?

The NFL will review the tape of the wide receiver getting hit

What's the worst part of an NFL wedding?

Getting hit by Rice

What do the NFL and Jail have in common?

You go in as a Tight End and leave as a Wide Receiver.

What is green and white, throws pig skin, and is the worst team in the NFL?

The Jets.

What do the Police, the NFL and Black Lives Matter all have in common?

They all have the same PR guy.

What do you get if you watch the Blind Side backwards?

Oher's NFL career

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What does the NFL season and the national anthem have in common?

Kaepernick is gonna sit through them both.

Who's the nicest player in the NFL?

Drew Brees. The guy's a saint.

When is the only time a white NFL wide receiver is a good thing?

When your sister tells you she's dating an NFL wide receiver.

When is the NFL going to start drafting players with mental handicaps?

Have you ever seen a video of them getting the ball and not scoring a touchdown

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Young Brother Jokes More Young Brother Jokes

What do you call a North Korean Gorilla?

King Kong Un (From my younger brother).

What did Peyton Manning said to his younger brother about the new NFL rule?

ELI5 (explain me like I am five)

Knee Jokes More Knee Jokes

What do you call a man with no knees?

Toni

How do black people grow?

Their knee grows!

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

Why did Bill Nye crash his car?

Because inertia is a property of matter.

How do you pronounce "nihilism?

It doesn't matter

Pig Skin Jokes More Pig Skin Jokes

What is the most common use for pig skins?

To keep the pig in one piece.

What is green and white, throws pig skin, and is the worst team in the NFL?

The Jets.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What do you get if you cross Snoop Dogg with a hippo?

A smokesalottapotamus.

Why couldn't people find Joseph?

He was Haydn!

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

How do you start an Ethiopian rave?

You tape bread to the ceiling.

Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

Black Life Jokes More Black Life Jokes

How many Black Lives Matters protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't be silly, Black Lives Matters protesters can't change anything.

How many states of matter are there?

5: solids, liquids, gases, plasma, and black lives

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What do you call someone who throws up after drinking too much orange soda?

Fantastic

Whats black and hurts when you get it thrown in your face?

A Piano.