Nfl Jokes

What do you get when you mix an insurance company with an NFL quarterback?

An Aflacco

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What did the NFL Commissioner say when Adele turned down the Superbowl Halftime Show?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

Why would Keemstar make a good NFL cornerback?

He's really good at swatting.

What do Monica Lewinsky and NFL players both have in common?

It's their knees that go first.

What did Peyton Manning said to his younger brother about the new NFL rule?

ELI5 (explain me like I am five)

What's the difference between a wide receiver and Ray Rice's wife?

The NFL will review the tape of the wide receiver getting hit

What's the worst part of an NFL wedding?

Getting hit by Rice

What do the NFL and Jail have in common?

You go in as a Tight End and leave as a Wide Receiver.

What is green and white, throws pig skin, and is the worst team in the NFL?

The Jets.

What do the Police, the NFL and Black Lives Matter all have in common?

They all have the same PR guy.

What do you get if you watch the Blind Side backwards?

Oher's NFL career

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What does the NFL season and the national anthem have in common?

Kaepernick is gonna sit through them both.

Who's the nicest player in the NFL?

Drew Brees. The guy's a saint.

When is the only time a white NFL wide receiver is a good thing?

When your sister tells you she's dating an NFL wide receiver.

When is the NFL going to start drafting players with mental handicaps?

Have you ever seen a video of them getting the ball and not scoring a touchdown

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Rice Jokes More Rice Jokes

What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

What do you call rice on 2 legs?

Pi Ok, I'm leaving now.

Pig Skin Jokes More Pig Skin Jokes

What is the most common use for pig skins?

To keep the pig in one piece.

What is green and white, throws pig skin, and is the worst team in the NFL?

The Jets.

Tight End Jokes More Tight End Jokes

What do the NFL and Jail have in common?

You go in as a Tight End and leave as a Wide Receiver.

What's Jerry Sandusky's favorite football position?

Tight end

Monica Lewinsky Jokes More Monica Lewinsky Jokes

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "Insert Bill Here"

Ray Rice Jokes More Ray Rice Jokes

What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!

What's the difference between Ray Charles and Ray Rice?

Ray Charles wasn't a one-hit wonder.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why did the old man hate using the new chip cards?

He's trying to watch his sodium intake.

What are the famous last words of a redneck?

Hey ya'll, watch this!"

Insurance Company Jokes More Insurance Company Jokes

What did the insurance company say to the applicant?

THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!

Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use?

Progressive.

Peyton Manning Jokes More Peyton Manning Jokes

What did Peyton Manning said to his younger brother about the new NFL rule?

ELI5 (explain me like I am five)

What do Abraham Lincoln and Peyton Manning have in common?

Neither can finish a play.