Missouri Jokes

Where were you born?

Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.

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Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

What do you call a sad state?

Missouri

What do you call the new policing strategy of communities such as Ferguson, Missouri?

A shot in the dark.

How many Missouri Police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just shoot the room for being black.

Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?

To show the opossum it could be done.

What is the least pleasant state to live in?

Missouri.

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Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson?

The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library.

How many Ferguson protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None they can't change anything.

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To bask in social approval.

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To loot the pharmacy on the other side

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Why are pirates so mean?

They just ARRRRRRRRRRR!!!

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How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

None. According to Trump, they outsourced it to India & China.

How many blonde's does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.

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Why did Eminem make a terrible barista?

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I'll take a shot"

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How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?

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What does a terrorist tell hes son?

Aim to the sky, maybe you'll shoot a plane.

What should you do if you see your TV floating?

Turn on the lights and shoot the black guy.