Missouri Jokes

Where were you born?

Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.

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Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

What do you call a sad state?

Missouri

What do you call the new policing strategy of communities such as Ferguson, Missouri?

A shot in the dark.

How many Missouri Police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just shoot the room for being black.

Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?

To show the opossum it could be done.

What is the least pleasant state to live in?

Missouri.

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Company Jokes More Company Jokes

Which company saw the end of disco coming from a mile away?

Discover.

How do u know if a company that just hired you conducts drug tests?

What is the likelihood it will be a hairtest

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Brazilian.

How many /r/ users does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to do it, one to complain that it has already been done before, and one to repost this joke.

State Jokes More State Jokes

Which state has the smallest sodas?

Minesoda

Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why can't spooky skeletons cross the road?

No guts.

Why are fire engines red?

You would be too if you were running down the road with your hose hanging out!

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What's in a Paul Walker shot ?

An Irish car bomb followed by a shot of Fireball

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

What do you have in a room full of tweakers?

A full set of teeth.

How many students does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the light bulb and one to drink until the room spins.

M Jokes More M Jokes

What's the difference between the English rugby team and a teabag?

A teabag stays in the cup longer! (im so sorry -)

What did the mushroom put in his bio for the online dating service?

Im a fungi

Apathy Jokes More Apathy Jokes

Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I dont know and I dont care.

What's a bigger problem, ignorance or apathy?

I don't know and i don't care.