Guard Jokes

Why can't americans play LoL?

They can't guard their towers.

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What do you call a pimp with his whores?

A guard and hoes.

What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You. Why I oughta...! Edit: Wow, thanks for all the love. My son is quite the character and he really caught me off guard with this!

What do you call a guard with a hundred legs?

A sentrypede.

How many Frenchmen does it take to guard Paris?

No one knows, it's never been done before

What do you call it when an author catches you off guard with innuendo?

Surprise subtext.

How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb ?

A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

How the hell did he escaped?

Guard : He went through the entrance.

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What don't BMWs have that all other manufacturers do?

Turn signals

Who sell the products cheaper a manufacturer or a distributor?

The store guard.

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How do you take care of a baby?

Hire a hitman

What did the urologist say to his physician before he hired him?

URINE. I'll let myself out.

Americans Jokes More Americans Jokes

Why do americans get manuals when buying a new car?

I thought they only drive automatic

Why do americans like to visit Rome so much?

Because it reminds them of home.

Night Watchman Jokes More Night Watchman Jokes

What is an astronomer?

A night watchman with a college education.

What do you call a night watchman with deep-set self-esteem issues?

An insecurity guard

Tower Jokes More Tower Jokes

Why are Americans bad at MOBAs?

Because they cant defend towers.

Why is the US terrible at league of legends?

Because they can't protect their towers.

Guardian Jokes More Guardian Jokes

What do you call a security guard stationed outside of a Samsung?

A Guardian of the Galaxy

What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung?

The guardians of the galaxy!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why was Shakespeare always a good teammate to have?

Because no matter the sport, he would always play write

What do you call a Psychic Compromise?

A Happy Medium. Sorry, a played around with the wording of this a lot and couldn't find anything better. Please suggest a better phrasing.

Far Man Jokes More Far Man Jokes

Why couldn't the hippie be saved from drowning?

He was too far out man.

Why couldn't the life guard save the drowning hippie?

Because he was too far out man.