Half Life Jokes

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.

Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam

Why isn't Half-Life 3 coming out?

Because 2 Half-Lives = 1 whole life.

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Uranium Jokes More Uranium Jokes

What happened when Dr Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?

He got atomic ache.

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

Valve Jokes More Valve Jokes

What Counting system does Valve use?

Trinary

Why does VALVE end with 2?

Because they can't count to

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and Brexit?

Brexit has actually affected society.

What's the difference between the England football team and a teabag?

The teabag stays longer in the cup.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What do you call a 2 legged dog who always ignore your calls?

Your ex!

How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?

1 or 2? 1... or 2?

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What do you call the western half of Kenya?

Kenya West

How do you call a car designed for midgets?

Half a Romeo. I'll show myself out.

Sunday Jokes More Sunday Jokes

Why did the woman take her third aborted fetus to see the priest on Sunday?

Half Life 3 Confirmed!

What are the 7 Irish drinking holidays?

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

Illuminati Jokes More Illuminati Jokes

What did the Illuminati say when they tried to read someone's mind, but failed to do so?

Curses, foiled again!"

Why does the Illuminati have to be the bad guy all the time?

Why can't they just be the Illuminice?

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

What do you call a guy that hates Christmas and steals the woman you love?

Ebenezer Scrooge-yagirl