Hitman Jokes

How do you take care of a baby?

Hire a hitman

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Why do hitman always wear gloves?

because theyre always wacking guys off....

What is a Hitman's favorite Mathematical Field?

Trigger*nometry

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Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?

He wears a coat and pants.

What's blue and white and sits up a tree?

A fridge wearing a denim jacket.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

How do you take care of a baby?

Hire a hitman

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

Glove Jokes More Glove Jokes

What did little no armed Jimmy get for Christmas?

Gloves! Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet.

What do you get a kid without arms for Christmas?

Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's pink and slowly turns red?

A baby chewing on a razor blade.

What's the difference between a baby and a pound of coke?

Eric Clapton would never drop a pound of coke.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What exactly had the "NOW That's What I Call Music!" guy been listening to before?

Sound FX CDs Whale noises

Why does that guy always get all the women?

I don't know...he isn't very handsome or rich" "And he's a terrible conversationalist - all he does is sit there licking his eyebrows"

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

What's the difference in Xbox One and your mother?

I genuinely care about your mother.

What's stronger, fifty watts of sound or fifty watts of light?

I don't care but would you please stop screaming, turning the lights on and off.