Horcrux Jokes

Why couldn't Ron Weasley make a Horcrux?

Because you need a soul for that.

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What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

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Voldemort Jokes More Voldemort Jokes

What happened to Voldemort's face?

Nobody nose.

What do you call a bad riddle?

Voldemort

Soul Jokes More Soul Jokes

Why do you never see red headed Jazz musicians?

They have no soul...

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

Ron Weasley Jokes More Ron Weasley Jokes

What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked?

He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".

Why couldn't Ron Weasley make a Horcrux?

Because you need a soul for that.

Tyrion Lannister Jokes More Tyrion Lannister Jokes

How old is Tyrion Lannister?

A: Peter Dinkl-age

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

Virginity Jokes More Virginity Jokes

What if Voldemort's last horcrux was his virginity?

Then Harry Potter would have to destroy it ofcourse.

How does a nun lose her virginity?

Dresses up as an altar boy

Destroy Jokes More Destroy Jokes

How does the Mummy plan to destroy Superman?

He's gonna lure him in to the crypt tonight.

How does a woman destroy a mans pride with 4 words?

Is it in yet? How does a man destroy a womans pride with 4 words? I don't know.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between batman and a black guy?

Batman can walk into a store without Robin

What's the difference between a 3 figure and a 4-figure suit?

1 figure, literally and figuratively.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Why does snoop dog need an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle....