Id. Jokes

Why was Freud a bad poker player?

he would always go all Id.

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What is the difference between ID and ED?

One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.

Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

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Collar Id Jokes More Collar Id Jokes

How do you know a shirt has phoned you?

Collar ID

What do a telephone and a dog have in common?

They both have collar ID.

Shirt Jokes More Shirt Jokes

Why did the scale not wear any of his shirts?

Because they all had a tare

Why don't Dunkin' Donuts employees wear name tags?

It wouldn't fit on their shirt.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

for 2 weeks.

Where's my cell?

Right there." That's not my phone. "Yes it is. I cleaned it!" My cell's white

Freud Jokes More Freud Jokes

Who did the philosophy major ask out for the Halloween dance?

Nobody. He was too 'Freud.

What did the humanistic psychologist say at Freud's funeral?

He died at such a Jung age.

Rank Jokes More Rank Jokes

What does the caller ID say?

Mom: It's a private caller. Dad: Don't answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher.

What would be different if men got pregnant?

Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay and morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.

Prague Jokes More Prague Jokes

What do people in Prague call abortions?

Canceled Czechs

Why did Bobby Fischer marry a woman from Prague?

A: He was looking for a Czech mate.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

Where do beers go to pick up girls?

Ho Gardens

What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing?

Help! My pocket's been picked!

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: So who wants to know Why do *you* want to know Are you a cop

What did one cop say to the other cop while investigating a crime scene at a farm?

A rooster!