Little Green Man Jokes

What do capitalists and conspiracy theorists have in common?

They are both controlled by little green men.

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What do little green men do to stay in shape?

They do Yoda.

Who made this Christmas pudding?

Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it Elf-raising flour of course.

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Toadstool Jokes More Toadstool Jokes

What is the opposite of leapfrog?

Toadstool

Why don't fairies live under toadstools?

Because there's not mushroom!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call the object Attila the Hun uses to brush his leg hair?

A Hun knee comb.

How do you spell "we" with two letters without using the letters W and E?

U and I.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why is Luis Suarez a c*nt?

Because he lives in Liverpool.

Who wears robes, cuts off people's hands, and lives in the desert?

Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

Which horse runs the city?

The mare, of course

What do you call someone who belongs in the kitchen?

A Chef of course...

Chef Jokes More Chef Jokes

What do chefs do when they are cooking in an emergency?

They take drastic measures.

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ?

It became a daddy short legs !

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

How do construction workers party?

they raise the roof.

What is the difference between an elevator and black people?

And elevator can raise kids

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Who sings "Love me tender" and makes Christmas toys?

Santa's little Elvis.

Why did Jill fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms. Why did she not get back up? Because she had no legs. What did Jill get for Christmas? A bicycle.