Marvel Jokes

Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?

Because he was hydra-phobic.

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Who makes the music for the Marvel movies?

The Avengers Ensemble.

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

Why was Nikola Tesla a fan of Marvel?

Because he didn't like DC...

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel?

I am Root.

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Thor Jokes More Thor Jokes

How did the Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.

Who would be Sub Zero's perfect rival in the Marvel Universe?

Thor.

Aquaman Jokes More Aquaman Jokes

Why so down?

Aquaman: People think I'm not a real superhero. I'm tired of being walked all over. *Jesus enters Aquaman: Dammit!

Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?

Because he was hydra-phobic.

Cpu Jokes More Cpu Jokes

What did one computer CPU say to the other after getting hit?

Ow! That megahertz!

What did the CPU say to the RAM?

Sorry to cache you out but I want the data closer. The RAM replied: you're right, "life" is too short.

Kernel Jokes More Kernel Jokes

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel?

I am Root.

What's the difference between a puppy and a kernel of corn?

Nothing. They both explode when nuked in the microwave.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How was school?

4: Trenton said his dad likes to go outside and fight lions - laughs - oh honey - nobody would name their kid Trenton

What does James Bond say after a heavy workout?

I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred.

Android Jokes More Android Jokes

How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone?

Zero. Apple doesn't accept EBT.

What do you call a cross dressed robot?

Android-gynous

Bikini Jokes More Bikini Jokes

How do you make the king leer?

Put the queen in a bikini! (From krusty the klown)

Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

Why do horses make terrible congressmen?

Because they can only say "neigh!" I wish this was a joke made up by my 7 year old cousin, but she's imaginary.

What did the horse say to whinnie the pooh while watching his t.v. show?

I wish I could hear you whinnie.