Dc Jokes

Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?

Because he was hydra-phobic.

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Why was Nikola Tesla a fan of Marvel?

Because he didn't like DC...

What do the Washington Metro system and the Little Mermaid have in common?

They're both under DC.

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Edward Snowed Jokes More Edward Snowed Jokes

What do you get when you cross a whistle with a blizzard?

Edward Snowed-in

What do you call an NSA whistle-blower spending the winter in Russia?

Edward Snowed-in

Fan Jokes More Fan Jokes

Why was it so hot in the stadium after the game?

Because all the fans left

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

Little Mermaid Jokes More Little Mermaid Jokes

Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells for a bra?

Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big!

Why couldn't the little mermaid get into college?

Her GPA was unda da C.

O Jokes More O Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What is the similarity between Caps Lock and prison?

They both turn "o" into "O".

Aquaman Jokes More Aquaman Jokes

Who's Aquaman?

Me: EXACTLY!

How do you make Aquaman cool?

Put him in water!

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

Why are ISIS fighters afraid to join the TEA Party?

They're afraid they'll be audited by the IRS.

What happens when a pirate turns 60?

He joins AARP

Washington Dc Jokes More Washington Dc Jokes

Why did the "Ringling Bros." Circus finally go out of business?

They couldn't compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer.

Why does Washington DC stink?

Because of the B O

Resume Jokes More Resume Jokes

Why would he put that on a resume?

Oh. My. God. You're hired."

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things