Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes

Why can't Matthew McConaughey make a left turn?

Because he's .

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What did Matthew McConaughey say about Steve Bannon's followers?

They're alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

Who does Matthew McConaughey say is the most dangerous group in America?

Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right

What do you call a conservative Matthew McConaughey?

All right all right all right.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House?

All right, all right, all right..

What does Matthew McConaughey think about an all white, Republican Government?

Altright, altright, altright

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What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches?

On rye on rye on rye.

What is matthew mcconaughey favorite bread?

All rye all rye

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he got a scholarship?

Fulbright, fulbright, fulbright...

What did Matthew McConaughey have to say about the 2016 Oscar-winner's line-up?

All white, all white, all white!

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Lincoln Jokes More Lincoln Jokes

Who was the only president that was not guilty?

Lincoln. He was in a cent.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

Where'd you get those shoes?

Me:"I've had these for years. Is that a new grill I saw " H:"Nope just cleaned the old one" *Marriage lies

Why don't women need to go to college?

Because it doesn't take four years to learn how to make a sandwich.

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

How do you blindfold an Asian person?

You put floss over his eyes.

Why Newton laws were not from Asian countries?

Because they have durian...

Dicaprio Jokes More Dicaprio Jokes

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Favorite Bread Jokes More Favorite Bread Jokes

What is matthew mcconaughey favorite bread?

All rye all rye

What is Homer Simpsons favorite bread?

Sour-Doh!

America Jokes More America Jokes

Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America?

On their feet!

Why aren't there any 'Knock, Knock' jokes about America?

Cuz freedom rings, baby!

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

What is worse than getting a wrong call at 3 AM in the morning?

Getting a right call.

What was the bear protesting?

his right to human arms

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What is the difference between a girl from London and a Kitkat?

You only get 4 fingers in a Kitkat.

What Happened when the girl sat on Lance Armstrong's lap?

She had a ball