Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes

Why can't Matthew McConaughey make a left turn?

Because he's .

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What did Matthew McConaughey say about Steve Bannon's followers?

They're alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

Who does Matthew McConaughey say is the most dangerous group in America?

Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right

What do you call a conservative Matthew McConaughey?

All right all right all right.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House?

All right, all right, all right..

What does Matthew McConaughey think about an all white, Republican Government?

Altright, altright, altright

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What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches?

On rye on rye on rye.

What is matthew mcconaughey favorite bread?

All rye all rye

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he got a scholarship?

Fulbright, fulbright, fulbright...

What did Matthew McConaughey have to say about the 2016 Oscar-winner's line-up?

All white, all white, all white!

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Why do we paint Easter eggs?

Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!

What would you have if all autos in the US were painted pink?

A Pink Car Nation!

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Which three American Generals won the most during the cold war?

General Motors, General Electric, and General Dynamics.

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

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Why couldn't Bach pay for his dinner?

Because he was Baroque.

Why does Superman get invited to dinners?

Because he is a Supperhero.

Racist Jokes More Racist Jokes

What do you call a black man flying plane?

A pilot you racist.

What's the difference between a racist and a liberal?

Gullibility

Leave Turn Jokes More Leave Turn Jokes

What do white nationalists call three left turns?

An alt-right

How do you tell a dyslectic to take the left turn on the road?

Turn toward your side!

Favorite Bread Jokes More Favorite Bread Jokes

What is matthew mcconaughey favorite bread?

All rye all rye

What is Homer Simpsons favorite bread?

Sour-Doh!

America Jokes More America Jokes

What did one turnip say to the other?

We're white and bulbous, just like America

What's the difference between justice and relevant ethnic groups in America?

Justice isn't always black and white