Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes

Why can't Matthew McConaughey make a left turn?

Because he's .

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What did Matthew McConaughey say about Steve Bannon's followers?

They're alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

Who does Matthew McConaughey say is the most dangerous group in America?

Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right

What do you call a conservative Matthew McConaughey?

All right all right all right.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House?

All right, all right, all right..

What does Matthew McConaughey think about an all white, Republican Government?

Altright, altright, altright

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What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches?

On rye on rye on rye.

What is matthew mcconaughey favorite bread?

All rye all rye

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he got a scholarship?

Fulbright, fulbright, fulbright...

What did Matthew McConaughey have to say about the 2016 Oscar-winner's line-up?

All white, all white, all white!

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Right Jokes More Right Jokes

Why does Beyonce say "To the left, to the left"?

Because black people have no rights.

Why do american bears have forelimbs?

They have the right to bear arms

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton?

He sat under the durian tree.

What's black, white, asian, and mexican?

A lazy panda.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball?

Because Africa isn't a country.

Who would win?

everyone

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Dinner

What does a vegetarian hunter say before dinner?

Lettuce prey"

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why am I not asleep?

he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.

What do you think Jesus' favorite gun would be?

A nail gun

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What N-word do you never want to call a black man?

Neighbor!

Why do men, on average, die before women?

Because they want to.

Oscar Jokes More Oscar Jokes

How many black Oscar nominees would it take (compared to white nominees) to satisfy the boycotters?

Three-fifths as many seems like a generous offer.

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

Because he finally got it

Original Joke Jokes More Original Joke Jokes

What's the difference between an original joke and a repost?

I don't know, I just click "submit"

What is matthew mcconaughey' least favorite part of interstellar?

The girls get older, but he stays the same age" -first attempt at a original joke (apologies if its a repost that I'm unaware of)