Medale Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

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What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.

Runner Jokes More Runner Jokes

Why are most runners single?

At best they're ASICS.

Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?

He just took it in stride

Brazilian Jokes More Brazilian Jokes

How many people live in South America?

A Brazilian.

What's your favorite racial (but not racist) joke?

How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A Brazilian!

Lochte Jokes More Lochte Jokes

What else did Lochte say after the truth came out?

This did not go swimmingly at all

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why can't the homeless ever get by in America?

because there's no chaaaannggggeeeee

Why is America bad at the game Chess?

Because they don't know how to defend their towers.

Rick Jokes More Rick Jokes

How many Ricks from TWD does it take to change a light bulb?

Carl gets shot in the face.

What happened when Rick fell down a hill?

Rick rolled.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?

Udder chaos!

Why did Regina George's dog only play keep-away?

because fetch is not going to happen.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Who I Haven't Seen in a While: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four?

Me: i have no idea what he's for

What's the worst part about getting AIDS?

Having to tell your friend his kids should get tested.