Transplant Jokes

What did the tree say while it was being transplanted?

Wheeeeeeeee!!!!!

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What do you call a human that's now a cactus?

A transplant.

What do you call a plant getting kidney surgery?

A transplant

What does a redneck garden gnome hate more than anything?

Transplants

Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants?

A: They've had little use.

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Lung Transplant Jokes More Lung Transplant Jokes

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm

Napoleon Jokes More Napoleon Jokes

What did Napoleon say about the chopped up body?

I wanna Bone a part

What is the big hairy thing between Napoleon's legs?

His horse Marengo

Bad Jokes More Bad Jokes

What's the worst part about necrophilia?

When you get stiff before she does.

What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White?

Shaking Bad.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How did Paul, the octopus, originally die?

Torres went and asked Paul proudly, "How many goals will I end up with after thia this World Cup " Paul died laughing.

Why won't the US change over to the Metric system?

Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters.

Phlegm Jokes More Phlegm Jokes

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you move a 2000 lb dinosaur?

Don't know?? Use DINO-MITE

What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp?

I don't know. I'm retiring next month.

Cough Jokes More Cough Jokes

What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?

The first couple of times you cough, the loogeys aren't yours!

What did the cat cough up when it was sick?

Meowcus

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How do you make a Vietnamese girl pregnant and rich at the same time?

Give her the dong.

What time does Sean Connery show up to wimbledon?

Tennish