Ugh Jokes

What was the first joke ever written?

Ugh, Ugh Ugh? Uggh!

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What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?

Ugh.... Pho queue...

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

What happened out there?

I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

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Write Jokes More Write Jokes

Who writes all his plays on the Internet?

Will-e. Shakespeare.

Which author do the Gorillas love most?

Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did the popular kittens not want to hang out with the kitten with a prosthesis?

OC It was an obvious faux paw. Credit: My wife's a dork.

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Ughs and kisses!

40 Jokes More 40 Jokes

Why would Sally sell seashells by the seashore?

There are plenty there that are free. Just walk and you are bound to find at least 40. Idiot

What has an IQ of 42?

A: "40 Marines plus their lieutenant"

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How many Buddhists does it take to screw a light bulb?

None. They believe that the enlightenment comes from within.

What do colorblind people say to the unexpected?

Well that came out of the purple

Po Jokes More Po Jokes

When's your birthday?

Me: (Drunk) um ok thats easy... ten dash four PO: What year Me: Ugh duh every year

How can you tell if Lady Gaga is dead?

Po-po-po-po-po-po-poke-her-face

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What about a nice cream pie?

She asked. "Except that." I replied.

How do you make a Game of Thrones fan sad?

You ask them to hold the door for you.

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

How do single people honor valentine's day?

By Celibating!

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

Tum Jokes More Tum Jokes

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

What do you call Tums in suppository form?

Bums