Xmas Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

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What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs... ...hanging on the wall?

Art ...floating in the sea Bob ...laying on the floor Matt ...down in a hole Phil ...sitting in a pot Stu ...

Why cant billy ride the swings?

he has no arms. knock knock. Whos there Not billy

Permission Jokes More Permission Jokes

What do you call a drunk executioner?

A dun-GIN keeper. Edit: You have my permission to post this on r/dadjokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Snowman Jokes More Snowman Jokes

How do snowmen travel around ?

By iceicle !

What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ?

Frost bite !

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?

Elephanta Claus !

What is the black kid getting for Christmas?

Your T.V.

Ho Ho Ho Jokes More Ho Ho Ho Jokes

What goes HO HO HO thud?

Santa laughing his head off. What goes HO HO HO A Pimp taking inventory.

Why does santa say ho ho ho?

Because three hos are better than one!

Shoutout Jokes More Shoutout Jokes

What do you think Michael Hastings was working on before he died?

slowing down his car. ... ... shoutout to for this one.

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why did the terrorist cross the road?

To send people to the other side.

How many people with OCD does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. It *has* to be seven.

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

Why don't French people smile in pictures?

The French word for "cheese" is "fromage".