What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Which pizza shop's business is like it's name?

Dominoes. Falling one at a time.

What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest?

Timbuuuuuurrrrrrrrton!

Shelf Jokes More Shelf Jokes

What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf"

Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol?

Because they can't reach the top shelf.

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

How many Arabs does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews.

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her head ?

Petal !

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student?

One baits his hook the other hates his book.

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!