What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree! I may not be a girl, but I'm blonde and find blonde jokes hilarious. xD

Why do you never see black people on cruise ships?

Because they won't fall for the same trick twice

Shelf Jokes More Shelf Jokes

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol?

Because they can't reach the top shelf.

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

When did Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

What does Sean Connery surf on the Internet?

Reddish.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

How do you keep a lawyer from drowning?

You take your foot off the top of their head.

Why do successful lettuce farmers always get women?

Because everyone knows they give good *head*.

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

What 3 books would you have on a desert island?

ME: My first book is more books. F: What These aren't wish M: Second book's a TV.

Why did the Native American feel so reluctant about booking a hotel room?

He had his reservations.