What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why did this OkCupid user never go out on a date?

A. "I couldn't imagine a date could be interested in knowing about me more than this website"

Why isn't Barney the Dinosaur allowed to drive?

A: Because everybody knows -- tyrannosaurus wrecks.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?

Exchange him.

Why do bronies get so upset about the friendzone?

I thought friendship was magic

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch?

Infuse the gravy with cocaine.

Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch?

Because they have no attachments.

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?

Close the door.

What does a feminist get when she can't afford a punching bag?

A boyfriend.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

Why didn't the scarecrow want dessert?

Because he was stuffed!

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

Chic Pea Jokes More Chic Pea Jokes

What's the difference between a chic pea and a garbanzo bean?

Iv never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.