Blame Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

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Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

What did the feminist baker blame for all of her life's problems?

The Pastryarchy.

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just blame feminism for the darkness.

Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!"

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame"

Why do you think people hate us so much?

Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

Why does the left foot get all the blame if you're a poor dancer?

Oh, you have two left feet. Hur hur hur" I guess it is #rightprivilege

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Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

How many Arabs does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews.

How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews

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Idiot Jokes More Idiot Jokes

What's up with all these idiots on TV trying to talk to ghosts?

I don't even wanna talk to the living.

What are you doing, idiot?

me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot " me, to myself, in all other situations

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What band does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

Slayer.

How does Santa make new baby reindeer?

In vitro, in Prancer, in Dancer, in Vixen.

Earthquake Jokes More Earthquake Jokes

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

How do you start an earthquake in East Africa?

Shake Djibouti.

Motorist Jokes More Motorist Jokes

What did the turkey say to the motorist?

Buckle Buckle

Why did you stop your car get out and yell "coward" at the traffic signal?

Motorist: The light just turned yellow.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How do you stop a North Korean tank?

Shoot the guy driving the cardboard box.

Why did the wave fail the driving test?

It kept crashing on the beach.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What do you call someone who hates pencils?

Erracist

Why did Aristotle hate French fries?

They were fried in ancient grease!

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What is the first rule of Womans fight club?

Never tell anyone what are you so mad about

What's on TV?

I said, 'Dust.' And that's how the fight started....

Feminism Jokes More Feminism Jokes

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just blame feminism for the darkness.

How do you start a conversation about men's rights?

Mention feminism.