What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How many times did I tell you to make your bed?

Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!

When someone ask me... How are you?

I answer back... You mean in bed

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many idiots does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Trick question. Idiots can't screw in lightbulbs regardless of help from other idiots.

How many redditors are needed to screw a lightbulb?

As much people as is needed to screw that lightbulb.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?

When the old one expects you to "do your share"

What kind of Mechanics fix and break your car at the same time?

Quantum Mechanics.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How do you get your girlfriend to fart?

Pull out

What do Kim Kardashian, and my girlfriend have in common?

They're both made up.

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What did the Psychiatrist say to the naked man wrapped in surran wrap?

Well I can clearly see your nuts

What do you call a robot that doesn't support his children?

Nuts and bolts

Handyman Jokes More Handyman Jokes

What does the handyman who has no legs wear on his head?

The handycap.

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

Bolt Jokes More Bolt Jokes

What did one bolt of cloth say to the other bolt of cloth after hurting its feelings?

I'm sari.

What do you call a bolt that dresses like a woman?

A cross-threader