What has four legs and isn't alive?

Son: "nice try, a chair!" Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

Why are double amputees always wrong?

Because they don't have a leg to stand on. Note: I'm a right leg amputee and I made this up myself.

What do you call a Hispanic woman with no legs?

Consuelo! My mother told me this one

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What does a dog do that you step in?

Pants.

What kind of papers do dogs write?

A ruff draft.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Dad, can you put my shoes on?

I don't think they'll fit me.

Who would win in a fight...your mom or your dad?

From the looks of it, your dad won

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

When did she die?

My guess would be sometime this morning.

Where do lightbulbs die?

Offswitch.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What is the difference between Napoleon and his son?

One is a Bonaparte from the other.

What do you call Figrin D'an's first born boy?

Son of a Bith!

Chair Jokes More Chair Jokes

How do you make a bandstand?

Take away their chairs

Why does a montonegran man keep a chair next to his bed?

So he can have a rest after he gets tired from waking up.

Nice Try Jokes More Nice Try Jokes

What is that behind your ear?

Nice try, too old for the coin trick" "No it's a tumor" "Oh my god" "Kidding it's a quarter"

What has four legs and isn't alive?

Son: "nice try, a chair!" Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."