What is the hardest part of cutting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.

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Why isn't China a democracy?

Because then they'd have to hold erections.

What's the difference between my erection and my motorcycle?

My wife actually looks forward to riding the motorcycle.

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What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine.

How are babies different from feminists ?

Babies grow up and stop crying

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What do Mexicans cut their pizza with?

I asked, "What " He said, "Little Caesars!"

What do you call an avocado cut up into 6.022*1023 times?

Guacamole

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What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

What's the hardest part of golf for asians?

Driving

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What do you do when you see a half dead native man crawling across your lawn?

Stop laughing and reload

How can you tell if the kid that stole your bike is half black and half polish?

He's running down the street with the bike under his arm.

Straight Razor Jokes More Straight Razor Jokes

What is the hardest part of cuting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.

What is the hardest part of cutting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.