What kind of tools do I need to make a cake?

Him: The fact that you're calling ingredients tools means u shouldnt be in charge of this.

Previous Random Joke Next

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb?

Seriously, I gotta figure out how many slaves I need to buy

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How much do pirates charge for piercings?

A buck an ear.

How do you stop an angry rhino from charging?

You take away its credit card

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What does love mean to a tennis player?

Nothing

Why is it worse this time around?

Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital?

An Oncologist

Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.

Fact Jokes More Fact Jokes

What is the fakest part of Skyrim?

The fact that red guards can swim.

How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long?

AHEM!

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake.

How would u like that prepared?

ME: um medium well W: very good Me: oh god what have I just done

Cake Jokes More Cake Jokes

Why was the cake afraid of mobsters?

He knew they were going to ice him.

Why was the cake lonely?

Because he was deserted by his friends

Tool Jokes More Tool Jokes

Why couldn't the Engineer Manager screw his wife?

Sorry I don't have the tools, I only supervise."

What do u get when u mix a douche and a tool?

Scottsdale.