What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a cook and a homo?

Well, the cook stirs today's meal while the homo stirs yesterday's.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How'd you get amnesia?

4yo:.. Me:.. 4yo: I don't remember. Me: Well played..

How would you describe Al Gore playing the drums?

Algorithm.

Tv Remote Jokes More Tv Remote Jokes

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

What do Libyan people put in their TV remotes?

Tripoli batteries.

Newborn Jokes More Newborn Jokes

How do Chinese pick a name for their newborn?

They kick a Can

What shatters faster than your smartphone screen?

A newborn with osteoporosis.

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

Where do people in Ghana go to watch football?

The Ghanarena

Why are Italians so good at football?

Because it involves changing sides halfway through.

Remote Jokes More Remote Jokes

Where is the remote?

All the way over there." "Guess I'm watching this."

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.