Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the big pig want to go on stage?

There was a lot of ham in him.

What's the 4th grade essay in the Detroit School District?

What I want to be *if* I grow up.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

What does his wife call it?

Microsoft.

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats Brown and... Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop?

p p

Whats a Mexicans Favorite sport?

Cross-Crountry

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why don't Geordies use scales?

Because they can weigh things by eye man.

Why do women love chocolate?

Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

Shag Jokes More Shag Jokes

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

How many shags have you had?

He started counting then fell asleep.