Shag Jokes

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

How does Austin Powers decide which guys he will sleep with?

By giving them an oral test first. "If you can gag me, you can shag me!"

This joke may have profanity.

How many shags have you had?

He started counting then fell asleep.

You might also enjoy:

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did Ahmed take his clock to school?

He wanted to see time fly

Why did the chemist join the Pentecostal church?

He wanted to speak in tungsten.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why did NBC add the Michael J. Fox Show to its line-up?

To shake things up on network tv.

How many things do you need to change a lightbulb?

3, a person, a ladder, and another lightbulb

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything

How do you count cows?

You use a cow-culator. Or you round them up. Or any other method the commenters want.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How does every ethnic joke start?

By looking over your shoulder.

How did you meet daddy?

Me: Well, it all started with a friendly game of spin the bottle at the family reunion...

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What do you get when two Samoans Fall off a couch?

Tufaloffahsofa

What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma?

When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you throw a drowning Mexican?

His wife and kids.

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

Bedrock Jokes More Bedrock Jokes

What's the difference between a movie rental machine and several prehistoric towns?

One is Redbox, the others are Bedrocks.

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What rhymes with Pistorius?

His girlfriend certainly ain't Morpheus.

Why wasn't Hamlet sad when his girlfriend drowned?

He was more of a necrOpheliac anyway.