Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet?

Swiping and wiping.

Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden. (I'll see myself out)

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did u shoot ur wife ?

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife instead of shootingher lover Methew:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

What happened after the man borrowed a sad movie from his friend?

He lost it.

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

Why do you carry a knife?

Me: A sword is harder to hide.

Why did the two knives go to the dance together?

Because they both looked sharp!

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Who's there ! Adelia ! Adelia who ?

Adelia the cards after you cut the pack !

Why was the Hay Robber's prison sentence cut short?

He got out on bale.

Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

How was the Roman Empire cut in two?

With a pair of Caesars.

What do Ethiopian's and a pair of jeans have in common?

They both have flies on them.

Rope Jokes More Rope Jokes

Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?

Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!

Why didn't the rope get any presents this year?

He was very knotty.

Scissor Jokes More Scissor Jokes

What do you call an innovation in scissors?

Cutting-edge technology

Whats the difference between risky children and risky lesbians?

One runs when they have scissors, the others scissor when they have runs