Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What products do you use for grooming?

she asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, "Facebook"

Why did the hippy teach the lumberjack calculus?

So he'd use natural logs!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with a toe on his knee?

Tony

Why couldn't the man open a fish and herb shop?

Because he didn't have the thyme or the plaice.

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

What is another name for a knife?

A chopstick!

What's the most useless thing about a knife?

The 'K'

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What cuts four farts in the morning, two farts at midday, and three farts in the evening?

A sphinxter.

How do you get a goth down from a tree?

Cut the rope

Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he gets a hole in one!

Why did you buy me a pair of bunny ears?

I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!

Rope Jokes More Rope Jokes

Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?

Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!

Why did the rope go to jail?

Because he was knotty

Scissor Jokes More Scissor Jokes

Whats the difference between children and lesbians?

Children shouldn't run with scissors. Lesbians shouldn't scissor with the runs.

What does a lesbian pirate say?

Scissor me timbers!