Why do you need patience at the gym?

Because there is a lot of weighting. *sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)

Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?

I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why did the flume ride need repairs?

Because it got waterlogged.

Why don't the French need air conditioner?

They use 2-in-1 shampoo

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What has dual airbags and has lots of room?

A: The White House.

What do you get if you cross a pig and a telephone ?

A lot of crackling on the line !

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What do you call that mean guy who keeps waking you up?

A myoclonic jerk.

Why do people who live near Niagara Falls have flat foreheads?

Because every morning they wake up thinking "What *is* that noise Oh, right, *of course* !"

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What did captain Kirk do in the head?

He Shatner.

Why was the monster standing on his head?

He was turning things over in his mind.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How do witches lose weight?

They join weight witches.

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

Gym Jokes More Gym Jokes

Which Machine Should I Use?

Coach: "Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"

What do you call it when Oxygen and Nitrogen train at the gym together?

Air conditioning

Patience Jokes More Patience Jokes

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

What is a doctor's most important quality?

Patience!