Why do you need patience at the gym?

Because there is a lot of weighting. *sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How do you tell 2 Scotsmen apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one of them has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!

What has 3 arms, 1 hat, 2 shirts, 1 jacket, 1 scarf, 1 gun, and 4 ears?

The Tchernobyl cowboy.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How are men like noodles?

They are always in hot water they lack taste and they need dough.

When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?

I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why do men like love at first site?

A. It saves them a lot of time.

Why was Beethoven making a lot of money?

His property was Fur Elise

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What did George Michael say to his partner before he went to work?

Wake me up before you go-go

Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy?

In case you wake the sleeping pills!

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?

Dug

What did the fish say when it bumped its head?

Dam.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

What does Mrs. pancake say when you compliment her on her weight?

Thank you, I'm flattened! I made this joke up on my drive home and am very proud of it. You monkeys better find it funny!

Why can't you lift weights on Monday?

It's a week day.

Gym Jokes More Gym Jokes

How to spot an idiot at the gym?

They put a water bottle where the Pringles go.

What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym?

Diddly squat

Patience Jokes More Patience Jokes

Why was the doctor forced to leave work early?

The hospital ran all out of patience

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.