Why does a redneck hold a knife while driving?

So he can cut corners.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Which aardvark holds the speed record?

The nearsighted aardvark who wrapped his tongue around a motorcycle!

How do you hold your liqour?

I hold mine by the ears.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why did the engineer drive the backwards?

He had a loco motive.

Who drives?

The police officer

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

What makes you think this is steak?

While I stroked his thigh with a knife.

What do you say to Jennifer Anniston after she has been stabbed?

So noone told you knife was gonna be this way?

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why did the man cry when he was cutting up onions?

Onions" was his dog... D:

When the barber is done cutting his hair, the cowboy goes back outside. And guess what?

Pony gone.

Redneck Jokes More Redneck Jokes

What is the only word that a redneck will capitalise?

Punishment.

What do rednecks say after they broke up?

We can still be brother and sister.

Corner Jokes More Corner Jokes

Why aren't there any Wal-Marts in the middle east?

Because there's a Target on every corner

What do you do if hou are cold?

If you ever get cold, stand in a corner for a bit. They are usually 90 degrees.