200 Pound Jokes

How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging?

Take away it's credit cards.

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What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

What's the difference between the average person and a feminist?

About 200 pounds.

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Subway Jokes More Subway Jokes

What's Jared's favorite ingredient for his Subway sandwiches?

Extra virgin oil

How do you get a full grown elephant on to the subway?

You take the "S" out of "Sub", and then you take the "F" out of "Way".

Jared Fogle Jokes More Jared Fogle Jokes

What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces?

Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

What does velcro yell as it charges into battle?

ATTACH!

Why was the horse all charged up?

It ate some haywire!

Average Person Jokes More Average Person Jokes

What's the difference between the average person and a feminist?

About 200 pounds.

Whats the most common work of fiction?

The average persons resume

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What's long and black?

every day How did Hellen Keller lose her virginity Someone left a plunger in the toilet

What did people call Putin after he lost an arm?

Amputin

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead?

A Lou-ouija board.

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?

Forty feet of track - all straight!

Why couldn't the taxidermist finish anything he started?

Because he kept getting side tracked by pet projects

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a North Korean tank?

Shoot the guy driving the cardboard box.

Why did the blonde wear green lipstick?

Because red means stop D