Beautiful Jokes

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?

then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.

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Bottle Jokes More Bottle Jokes

What happens when you cross the band "The Knack" and a bottle of Corona?

A song called "My Corona"

What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan?

Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

Why did the boy laugh when he was molested by a test?

Because the testicles

What do you call corn with a sense of humor?

Laughing stalk

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How does Winnie the Pooh open his honey pot?

With his bear hands. Thank the Chive for that one.

How do you say thank you to a New York sushi chef?

Gracias.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

What did the mole say when someone told him there were entire above-ground civilizations?

Holy moley, I didn't know that!"

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the Olympic long distance race and the Paralympic long distance race?

A lap

What's the difference between your finger and a hammer?

I don't know! Well you're not using my computer keyboard then!

Beekeeper Jokes More Beekeeper Jokes

How do beekeepers keep their bees so chill?

They smoke them out.

What kind of people have the most beautiful eyes?

Beekeepers. Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder.

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

What did the parrot say when he saw a duck?

Polly want a quacker!

How do you get down off a horse?

You don't, you get down off a duck.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why can't you talk to spiders who get shut in pianos?

They'll B flat

What did the dolphin say to the frog?

Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy.