Cauchy Jokes

Why did the mathematician call his dog Cauchy?

Because he left a residue at every pole.

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Why couldn't Cauchy lose any weight?

Because every time he saw a street pole he imagined two pies.

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Mathematician Jokes More Mathematician Jokes

What's a Mathematician's favourite Christmas pudding?

Yule ln!

Where do mathematicians go to gamble?

Sine city

Hint Jokes More Hint Jokes

How does the quadriplegic cross the free way?

I'll give you a hint... Take the "F" out of "free" and the "F" out of "way".

How do you define a will?

Hint: It's a dead giveaway.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What is something a woman hates about a man but a man would love about a woman?

Premature ejactulation.

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

Pole Jokes More Pole Jokes

How do you make a pole angry?

Deport him.

What did the poles do during world war two?

They held the telephone wires off the ground.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

What does Mrs. pancake say when you compliment her on her weight?

Thank you, I'm flattened! I made this joke up on my drive home and am very proud of it. You monkeys better find it funny!

What did the scale say when it was going to drop a fresh mixtape?

Weight on it.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did the hipster otter leave his hometown river?

It was too mainstream :)

What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?

Namast (nah-ima-stay)

Imagine Jokes More Imagine Jokes

What is it called when a woman can't imagine having kids?

Inconceivable.

Why did the Greeks want Helen back so bad?

Are you kidding She was the most beautiful woman in the world! Can you imagine what her sons would of looked like

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What's the difference between a tornado and a redneck divorce?

Nothing. Either way they're losing the trailer.

Where'd the dog who lost his tail go to get a new one?

A retail store.