Define Jokes

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How do you define a will?

Hint: It's a dead giveaway.

How do you define necrophilia?

The urge to crack open a cold one

What about you?

me: define "child"

How many philosophers does it take to... ...change a light bulb?

Define "light bulb".

How would you define yourself?

ME: *don't let her know you're a delicious chocolate cake* Moist

How do you define a farmer?

Someone that's outstanding in their field.

How many true friends do you believe you have?

Me: Define "true friend." Shrink: Someone you feel you can tell anything. Me: 11,419.

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Dead Giveaway Jokes More Dead Giveaway Jokes

What is a dead giveaway someone has no idea what they are doing?

They have an engineering degree.

How do you define a will?

Hint: It's a dead giveaway.

Field Jokes More Field Jokes

Why can't Mexico field a good Olympic team?

Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is already here in the US.

What do you call an empty field?

The french army at the beginning of a war!

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything

What do you get when ant's parents won't let him marry his girlfriend?

Antelopes.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air ?

A seahorse !

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why are you so happy?

Girl2: I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said "Parking Fine"

What's the difference between my job and my boss's daughter?

I'm not coming into work today

Necrophilia Jokes More Necrophilia Jokes

What gets better with age?

Necrophilia

How do you define necrophilia?

The urge to crack open a cold one

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Kings of Spain does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Juan

How does a orphan change a light bulb?

They grab the stack of un-signed adoption papers, stand on top of them, then proceed to change the light bulb.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did Renault name a car "Le Car"?

So customers wouldn't accidentally drive Le Lawnmower to work.

Why couldn't the physicists change the lightbulb?

Too much work.