Executioner Jokes

What did the executioner say to his wife when he left?

I'll beheading out now.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the executioner say to the prisoner?

Hang on a minute."

How does the executioner like his coffee?

Decap

Why is an executioner a terrible high-fiver?

He always leaves you hanging

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

You might also enjoy:

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What is the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

The people in Dubai don't watch the Flintstones but the people in Abu Dhabidoooo!

What programs do cultists watch shows on?

Ct-hulu

Noose Jokes More Noose Jokes

How do you pick up a black guy?

With a noose.

What did they suicidal news reporter say when they went on air?

Lets get right into the noose.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the most dangerous weapon your wife can get her hands on?

Your credit card.

What the hell are you two doing?

He demanded. His wife turned to the stranger and said, "See, I told you he was stupid."

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Why is Russian the most dangerous language to learn?

Because it's Russki.

What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup?

Waiter: Probably learning to read.

Shoulder Jokes More Shoulder Jokes

How did the media find out that princess Diana had dandruff?

They saw her head and shoulders in the glove compartment

What is stephen Hawking's favorite food?

His shoulder.

Rdadjoke Jokes More Rdadjoke Jokes

What do you call an imp that is rushes to the hospital?

Impatient OC from r/dadjokes

What do black people and Batman have in common?

Neither one of them get r/dadjokes

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

What do you call a drunk executioner?

A dun-GIN keeper. Edit: You have my permission to post this on r/dadjokes

What do elves post on Social Media?

Elf-ies.

Minute Jokes More Minute Jokes

What involves a man and two women, and doesn't even last a minute?

A Ronda Rousey fight.

How long does it take to fly to Boston?

The clerk said "Just a minute..." "Thank you" the man said and hung up.