Lindsay Lohan Jokes

How are Lindsay Lohan and the Note 7 alike?

The both leave your crotch on fire

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Why was Lindsay Lohan feeling sleepy?

He was buying drinks.

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

A: Ho, ho, ho!

What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?

Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"

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Miley Jokes More Miley Jokes

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

A: Ho, ho, ho!

What did Miley Cyrus' dancing instructor tell her to do?

Hometwerk

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.

What's the difference between oral and rectal thermometers?

The taste.

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

Why did the black man try to break into jail?

He wanted to be with his family.

Why did the number one go to jail?

187

Christmas Eve Jokes More Christmas Eve Jokes

Why was the milkman afraid on Christmas eve?

Because of the Ghost of Christmas Pasteurisation.

What do you do if somebody dies Christmas Eve?

Wait 12 hours and have Christmas Mourning

Note Jokes More Note Jokes

Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them?

I did! Well here's the elastic band.

Why are notes natural leaders?

Because while a note makes a sound, the rest is silent.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where does the CIA buy its groceries?

Whole Foods

When does a dyslexic person know they've bought the wrong SUV?

When they're in Denali.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did you leave me here all alone?

Where o where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found some one You met a zombie and pblblthpth you were gone.

What does Joe Biden say as he is leaving his house?

Biden

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do you call a self help book for a Country Music singer?

Drink, Pray, Truck

Why do Polish people keep empty bottles in their refrigerator?

For people that don't want anything to drink