Lindsay Lohan Jokes

How are Lindsay Lohan and the Note 7 alike?

The both leave your crotch on fire

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Why was Lindsay Lohan feeling sleepy?

He was buying drinks.

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

A: Ho, ho, ho!

What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?

Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"

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Note Jokes More Note Jokes

What type of writing makes the most money?

Ransom notes.

Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them?

I did! Well here's the elastic band.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where do safari animals buy their groceries?

From the supermeerkat

Where'd you buy my gift?

Me: Bed Bath & Beyond Wife: You used a coupon right Me: Coupon *wife faints*

Paris Hilton Jokes More Paris Hilton Jokes

Why Does Paris Hilton Have a Chihuahua?

Cause she doesn't want a Dog thats more intelligent than her!

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

A: Ho, ho, ho!

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

Which newspaper is most popular around cows?

The Moo York Times

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do you call a self help book for a Country Music singer?

Drink, Pray, Truck

What do baby parabola drink?

Their Quadratic Formula!

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Who doesn't like to sit in front of the fire?

A Snowman.

What did the fireman say when he noticed his hammer was on fire?

This is not a drill.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.

What do you call a Hungarian insect who won't leave siddhartha alone?

A Buddha-pest.

Ho Jokes More Ho Jokes

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

Santa stops after three ho's.

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

A: Ho, ho, ho!