Liner Jokes

Who just can't get enough of one liners?

Coke addicts.

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What's funnier than a one liner?

A two liner.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?

Cause he can't do stand-up.

How does a one liner hurt its readers?

With its punchline

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What are the 5 best Vegetables of all time?

tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))

Why do we never take the time to thank mislabeled concrete?

It's mistaken for granite.

Vladimir Putin Jokes More Vladimir Putin Jokes

What did Vladimir Putin say after dropping a smashing one-liner?

Putout

What happens when Vladimir Putin stands up too fast?

Head Russian...

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

What's the best way for a lady to read 50 Shades of Grey?

To flick through it as fast as possible.

What is the difference between my car and Whitney Houston?

My car can hit 50.

Coke Jokes More Coke Jokes

Whats Brown and Sticky?

Mohammed Ali opening a can of coke.

Why did the police officer arrest the pop machine?

It was selling coke.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of fun does a priest have?

Nun.

What kind of bars do lesbian Eskimos go to?

Klondike Bars

Script Jokes More Script Jokes

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

Who would win in a fight between John Cena and Chuck Norris?

Depends on who wrote the script.

Short Jokes More Short Jokes

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

When is the only time when No shirt no shorts no shoes gets you service?

If you're a surfer and you're getting head.

Saturday Jokes More Saturday Jokes

Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays?

They can wear casual clothes to work

Why does Saturday stink?

Because it has a turd in it.