Lung Cancer Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

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How is the 85 year old Contractor that survived lung cancer doing?

Asbestos he can. I'm so sorry.

What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer?

Depends what you smoke. (Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense)

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Optimist Jokes More Optimist Jokes

How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb?

Who says it's dark

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

Why cant Mexicans smoke joints?

They aint ever got any papers

How did they manage to smoke?

They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter

Aid Jokes More Aid Jokes

How did Magic Johnson get Aids?

By using his Magic Johnson.

What kind of aids he got?

Financial aids ! !

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

What do you call a drug dealing church?

Crystal Methodists

What do frogs deal?

Croakaine

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

What happened to the Milkman?

He drank all the milk.... makes sense no logically, yes!

Why did the double arm amputee unsubscribe from r/jokes?

He lost his sense of humerus.

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What do you call LeVar Burton that survived months of being lost in the wilderness?

Geordi La Forage

How did Warren Buffets company survive the economic meltdown?

It's a trade secret, but don't worry, Berkshire Hathaway

Asbestos Jokes More Asbestos Jokes

Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins?

It was asbestos they could do at the time!

Why do carcinogens want to give us cancer so badly?

Because they're trying asbestos they can.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did one doctor say to the other doctor?

We're both doctors"

Why was the doctor so stressed out?

He lost his patients...