Mallard Jokes

What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold?

One of you is a sick duck, and I forget the rest, but your mother's a whore!

This joke may have profanity.

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What did the mallard yell in the drive-by shooting?

Duck!!!

What is the media of choice for the mallard?

lololololololol-- --lololololol

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Medium Jokes More Medium Jokes

Why are all these Juice fad diets so popular?

Because Juice control the media

How about this one?

Psychic: That shirt is too small. Employee: You didn't even try it on. Psychic: I'm a medium.

Effect Jokes More Effect Jokes

What do you call a cross between a dog and a turtle?

A cross. The animals around it have no effect on its name duh.

What effect does global warming have on Pennsylvania?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

What kind of disease do you get from birds?

Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable.

What's the only disease a potato can get?

tuber-culosis

Choice Jokes More Choice Jokes

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

How about that airline food?

They give you two choices but their always out of one.

Potato Jokes More Potato Jokes

How did the potato get back from the party?

It booked a Tuber.

What do you call a potato that's reluctant to try new things?

A Hesi-tater

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

How does a duck pay for lipstick?

She puts it on her bill

What do you get if you cross a duck with an avocado?

Quackamole

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What does a flower in a race car yell?

Petal to the nettle!

Who's in there?

He yells He gets a reply "jean-claude van damme" All 4 of you,get out!