Marry Man Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What disease does a married man have?

onejina

What's the worst they could say? No?

I'm a married man, I hear no at least two times a week.

Why does the army want to only recruit married men?

Because they don't want a man lost!

Why do married men love golf so much?

Because it's not the same three holes over and over again.

Why do single men live longer than married men?

Because they want to.

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Melon Jokes More Melon Jokes

Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license?

Because it means they *cantaloupe*

Why would two melons in love hate their parents?

Because they cantaloupe. =D.....=).....=='(

Ugly Man Jokes More Ugly Man Jokes

What did the really ugly man do for a living ?

He posed for Halloween masks !

What happened after the ugly man married the beautiful blonde?

They had a wedding reception.

400 Pound Jokes More 400 Pound Jokes

Where will the 400 pound gorilla sleep?

Wherever it wants to. R.I.P. Harambe

Why did the 280-pound girl marry the 400-pound man?

She wanted a big wedding.

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What's the best way to get a Punjab in India?

Hire a cunning linguist.

What is the best way to follow a lost dog's paw prints?

With a track-tor!

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

What's the form of public transit most rife with filth and disease?

Let's name our sandwich shop after it

Old Joke Jokes More Old Joke Jokes

What gets you a downvote?

Reposting an old joke that wasn't funny the first time. What gets you an upvote? Posting an original joke, or a funny joke I've heard before. What get's you 5 upvotes? Being

What is the oldest joke in the book?

The first one written

Boaz Jokes More Boaz Jokes

What was Boaz like before he got married?

Ruthless.

What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?

Ruth-less.

Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

Why did the monkey fall of the tree?

Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? Why did the third monkey fall of the tree? Peer pressure.