Patrick Jokes

Why did Patrick's girlfriend have to go to the doctor?

She had a weast infection.

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What's the difference between mlk day and st. Patrick's day?

Everyone WANTS to be irish on st Patrick's day.

Why is Patrick so dumb?

He's living under a rock.

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Martin Luther King Jr. Day Jokes More Martin Luther King Jr. Day Jokes

Why do we have Martin Luther King Jr. Day off?

So the black people will not be the only ones skipping school.

What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr. Day and St. Patricks Day?

Everyone want to be Irish on St. Patricks Day.

Engage Jokes More Engage Jokes

Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange?

Because the lime was engaged.

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

Lad Jokes More Lad Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why do single people take dating advice from other single people?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.

Why does Heisenberg hate driving?

He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What word starts with "n" and you never want to call a black person?

Neighbor

What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms?

Whatever you want

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What's the difference between an Irish Funeral and an Irish Wedding?

One less drunk person.

What's Irish and sits on your lawn?

paddy o' furniture

Patrick Stewart Jokes More Patrick Stewart Jokes

What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday?

Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years.

Why did Patrick Stewart shave his head?

So he could badly go where no man has gone before.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How's your wife been?

Harry...."She's an angel, how about yours " Bob...."Egh, mine is still alive."

What's the definition of a Polygamist?

Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!