Phelp Jokes

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

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Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

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Men Jokes More Men Jokes

What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

Why are womens feet shorter than mens?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

What do people who refuse to fight use as weapons?

Their pacifists

What do you call it when you refuse to do core workouts?

Abstinence.

Rob Jokes More Rob Jokes

What do you call it if a white person robs you?

Capitalism

What do you call it when a group of ghosts rob a bank?

A polterheist.

Black People Jokes More Black People Jokes

Why do black people always finish first in a running race?

There's a KFC at the end of the finish line.

Why is there cotton in pill bottles?

To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers.

Teammate Jokes More Teammate Jokes

How did the failing Heroes of the Storm player apologize to their teammate?

I'm gonna level with you.

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

Medale Jokes More Medale Jokes

What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

What does a pirate get when he walks into a second-hand shop?

Disappointed.

Aid Jokes More Aid Jokes

What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer?

Depends what you smoke. (Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense)

How do you...?

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable Give it aids.