Phelp Jokes

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

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Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

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Lochte Jokes More Lochte Jokes

What else did Lochte say after the truth came out?

This did not go swimmingly at all

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School?

Just planning ahead...

What did the peadophile say when he was released from prison?

I feel like a kid again

Williams Jokes More Williams Jokes

Why aren't the Williams sisters competing against Michael Phelps?

Black people can't swim.

What should be Serena William's nickname?

Tennis-ee Williams

Rob Jokes More Rob Jokes

Why did I rob the bank?

For Fundsies! I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.

What happened to the Greek dairy farmer who got robbed on his way to market?

He was un-feta-ed of his cheese.

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

What do you call bacteria that can swim fast?

Micro Phelps.

Why are marines who can't swim better?

They defend the ship with way more enthusiasm.

Men Jokes More Men Jokes

What's a priest's favorite X-men?

A-Men.

What do you call a team of Christian mutant superheroes?

The A-Men

Teammate Jokes More Teammate Jokes

How did the failing Heroes of the Storm player apologize to their teammate?

I'm gonna level with you.

Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

He only Phelps himself.

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

Why doesn't Mexico have a team in the summer Olympics?

Because all the ones who can run, jump or swim are ready in the US.

What's better than getting second place at the special Olympics?

Not being retarded