Profanity Jokes

Why does Oedipus hate profanity?

He kisses his mother with that mouth.

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What is the most used language in programming?

Profanity.

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Power Jokes More Power Jokes

What do you call a flesh light powered by your smartphone?

iFap

Why wouldn't Kurt Cobain let you charge your phone at his house?

the guy likes his power chords too much.

Swear Jokes More Swear Jokes

Why do brown women wear red dots on their heads?

Because they record everything. (I swear I made it up n I'm brown too)

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

How does an Alzheimer's patient celebrate New Years?

Kissing strangers.

How do you kiss a florist?

With tulips.

Programming Jokes More Programming Jokes

What's does America and programming have in common?

When you fix one problem, 38 more problems pop up.

What is the most used language in programming?

Profanity.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What did the kid say to his mother right before he went to India?

Mumbai

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich?

Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What does a monster mom say to her kids at dinnertime?

Don't talk with someone in your mouth.

What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?

An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!

Oedipus Jokes More Oedipus Jokes

What does Oedipus the king's mother wear under her dress?

Q: what does Oedipus the king's mother wear under her dress? A: a Freudian slip

Why doesn't Oedipus swear?

Because he kisses his mum with that mouth.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What does Jeremy Clarkson and Amy Winehouse have in common?

They both used to be on top gear.

What is the most used language in programming?

Profanity.