Shredder Jokes

Who is the best guitarist in the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles universe?

Shredder.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How does a turtle grate cheese?

Shredder

Why is Oliver North like Kraang?

They both love using the shredder.

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Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Which cat won the race?

A: The English cat. Un deux trois cat sank.

Why did the cat stop singing?

Because it was out of tuna.

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

How many moths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but more can join in if there's room in the lightbulb.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a priest?

Only one of them goes limp when a child walks into a room.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?

A real mess on your hands.

How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?

You use a pumpkin patch.

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

Why are magicians always sad?

Because everything they have disappears

What was the best magic trick Osama Bin Laden ever pulled?

He made the World Trade Center disappear.

Poster Jokes More Poster Jokes

How many /r/twoxchromosomes posters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten. 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and the other 9 to provide emotional support.

Why isn't Luke on the poster for The Force Awakens?

He's a bit Shywalker. I'm so, so sorry everyone.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

Why should you distrust atoms?

Because they make up an awful lot of stuff. EDIT: Because I forgot about neutrinos.

What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?

A thyme machine.

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why does a dog lick it's balls?

Because they're delicious. What? You've never tried them? You're missing out.

Why are storm troopers so clingy?

Cause no matter where you're at they'll always miss you.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

What is a sailor's favorite letter?

From his wife back home