Sniper Jokes

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Coffee Mug

How do snipers communicate online?

FaZebook.

What is an Iraqi children on a playground doing?

He's distracting the sniper. Didn't want to offend.

Whore that was shot by a sniper?

360 hoscope

This joke may have profanity.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Why can't you get drunk with a sniper?

Because they are usually done after one or two shots.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

Tend Jokes More Tend Jokes

A termite walks into a bar and says...

'Where is the bar tended?'

What does a pimp do when his garden needs tending?

He grabs a hoe.

Sh Jokes More Sh Jokes

What is the difference between Donald and a peace of sh..?

NOTHING....!!!

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why did the boy drop his icecream?

He was hit by a truck.

Why are all Blackberry workers so bad at basketball?

Because the always hit the RIM!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the man turn on the lights in a depression clinic?

He wanted to lighten the mood in such a dim atmosphere.

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What do you call 3 Irish tree surgeons?

Tree fellas

What do you call and Irish person who stays outside all night?

Paddy O'Furniture

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How do dogs do business?

Pro-bono

Why did the dog scratch itself against the tree?

Ruff Bark

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

Why don't anti-vaxxers hang out in bars?

They're afraid of the shots.

Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than police do?

Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. "Oh damn, shots fired!" But not by the pizza guy.