Sniper Jokes

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

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How do snipers communicate online?

FaZebook.

What is an Iraqi children on a playground doing?

He's distracting the sniper. Didn't want to offend.

Whore that was shot by a sniper?

360 hoscope

This joke may have profanity.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Why can't you get drunk with a sniper?

Because they are usually done after one or two shots.

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Bad Eyesight Jokes More Bad Eyesight Jokes

What do you call a film director with bad eyesight?

Squintin' Tarantino

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Hoot Jokes More Hoot Jokes

What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?

A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!

What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch?

A bird that's ugly but doesn't give a hoot!

Sniper Rifle Jokes More Sniper Rifle Jokes

What do you get if you cross a dog with a sniper rifle and a car?

A !

What do you call a Scottsman with a sniper rifle?

Fiction.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What's with people thinking white people shoot up schools?

I'm white and I have only shot up like 2 schools.

How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three. One to screw it in one to watch and one to shoot the witness.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ?

A horse !

Why did the horse get a DUI?

She had too many maretinis

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the plant cross the road?

Cus it was being stalked!

What do you get when you cross a drunk woman with a tactical grenade?

Flash-banged. )

Constipate Owl Jokes More Constipate Owl Jokes

What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl?

One shoots and shoots but can't hit, and the other...

What's the difference between a blind sniper and a constipated owl?

Everything. They have absolutely nothing in common.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why is Waldo always wearing striped clothing?

because he doesn't want to be spotted

Why does my van have windows?

I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance.