Turd Jokes

What dog is the worst at polishing a turd?

A poodull

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What do women and turds have in common?

The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Why do Italians carry slices of turd in their wallets?

For identification.

Why does Saturday stink?

Because it has a turd in it.

Whats the difference between you and a bucket of turds?

The bucket

How do you cut a turd into 5 pieces?

Squish it in your hand.

Why does it say TRD on that Toyota truck?

Because it's a turd!

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Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

Why did the poor art collector only buy miniature paintings?

He wanted more Monet in his wallet.

Why do Italians carry slices of turd in their wallets?

For identification.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why did the guy fall off his bicycle?

Because I threw a microwave at him

What did Eric Clapton do after he wrote Tears in Heaven?

Threw his baby out the window.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry?

A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top she's old enough. If it isn't cut the barrel down a bit.

What did the manager of a log cutting company tell his employees when they were working too slow?

Chop chop.

Saturday Jokes More Saturday Jokes

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

Why does Saturday stink?

Because it has a turd in it.

Dog Poop Jokes More Dog Poop Jokes

What do you call drawings of dog poop that don't have outlines?

Dog turds without borders

What do women and dog poop have in common?

The older they are the easier they are to pick up.

Squish Jokes More Squish Jokes

What does an Eskimo girl say before she is about to lose her virginity?

Careful Dad, don't squish my smokes."

What has 100 legs but can't walk?

Johnny: 50 pairs of pants? Jimmy: No, A centipede. Jhonny: What? why? Jimmy: Because I squished it

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What did the elephant say to the naked guy?

That thing sure is cute, but can it pick up peanuts?

Why did the elephant paint his balls green?

Answer: to hide in avocado trees.. How did Tarzan die? Answer: Picking avocados

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage I do realize this is a sick joke but it still makes me laugh when I hear it. I'm a horrible person

What's the difference between Whitney Houston and Amy Winehouse?

About 204 days.