How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

Previous Random Joke Next

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How many UPM's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!"

What's Beethoven up to these days?

Decomposing

House Jokes More House Jokes

What did the cholo say when two houses fell on top of him?

Get off me homes!

Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents?

Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What do you call a group of people who hate Mexicans?

Que Que Que

Why do terrorists hate wine?

Because there are too many zinfandel's.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Who steals all the soap in the bathroom?

The robber ducky

How do you get milk from a witch's cat?

Steal her saucer.

Shape Jokes More Shape Jokes

What did the square say to the blob?

You're out of shape.

What shape is your table?

A: Um, round But that's not really... R: Got it

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why did the bullet stay home?

Because it got fired!

What goes over the water, and under the water, but stays dry?

Jesus in a submarine.

Chase Jokes More Chase Jokes

How do you make an apple puff?

Chase it round the garden

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really ?

said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground !"

Ostrich Jokes More Ostrich Jokes

What do you call the offspring of Rick Ross and an Ostrich?

RickRosstrich.

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it