How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed ?

When your nose touches the ceiling !

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Who stole the sheets from the bed?

Bed buglars.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why don't snakes have balls?

Because hardly any of them know how to dance.

How did Jack know exactly where to find the goose in the giant's castle?

He had her.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What time would it be if five elephants were chasing you?

A: Five after one.

What do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Elephino

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

How do you break a Polacks finger?

Punch him in the nose.

What does a ghost pick out of his nose?

Boo-gers

Ceiling Jokes More Ceiling Jokes

How do you have a rave in Greece?

Blu-Tac a euro to the ceiling.

How do you start an Ethiopian rave?

You tape bread to the ceiling.

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What actor touches every girl on set?

David Cop-a-feel

What do black guys have that's double the size of white men and gets bigger every time they touch a woman?

A. Their criminal record