What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why do I only see lesbian couples holding hands?

Aren't their hands clammy enough as it is...

Why do North Korean statesmen make for bad lovers?

Because they won't hold a public erection.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

Why don't they use Macs/iPads in hospitals?

Because using an Apple a day keeps the doctors away.

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand?

Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

What's the difference between a nail, a screw, and a bolt?

A girl raises her hand and says, "I don't know. I've never been bolted before."

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

How do you get a Mormon to not drink all of your beer on a fishing trip?

Bring two Mormons.

Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to the party?

He's a party pooper!

Gorilla Jokes More Gorilla Jokes

Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy?

An ape-ricot sour!

What do you call Italian women in a sauna?

A: Gorillas In The Mist!

School Jokes More School Jokes

Why do Apes love to go to school in bad neighbourhoods?

They like any jungle - even a blackboard jungle!

What a glum face what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours ?

Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it !

Teacher Jokes More Teacher Jokes

How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School?

Just planning ahead...

How did the white girl get pregnant?

Her teacher told her to do an essay. (ese)

Ape Lle Jokes More Ape Lle Jokes

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!